Confidence – How to keep strong frame
Frame is everything. For us, frame is more or less the same as faith for the Christ.
What’s a frame?
The frame is the way you think about a specific thing.
It’s how you belief its right.
It projects what you want.
It’s the guideline for your actions.
Yes, for those who never heard this expression in that context may be confused, but in a specific topic it’s super easy to understand.
Let’s make an example of a typical situation when you met a girl at a party:
You have an awesome time with her and a lot of sexual attraction, but she won’t move to the next stage.
So the frames look like this:
“I don’t have sex with a guy I just met.” or with her words: “No”
“It’s total okay to have sex with someone I just met.”
This is the situation. If you don’t know your homework her frame will dominate and she won’t have sex with you.
Because that’s what her frame tells her. It’s a subtle trial. You can’t force a frame.
You could, but that’s force and not seduction.
How does this work?
-Your frame has to make sense. This is not basically necessary, but a nice fundament.
-Your frame has to feel good.
-You need to belief your own frame.
This is done by stories. To make stories and questions to change her frame we created our Seduction Hypnoses Workshop, were we just teach this stuff for three days straight. But the core message is to make your frame looks and feels better than hers. It’s about to create a picture inside her mind, which lead her to change her frame.
How can I keep my frame?
The thing about the frame is, we all have ones.
And we all defend our frames and try to convince others of it.
Unconscious or Conscious.
If we start to deal with frames conscious it’s easier and more fun.
I love this frame battles, where people start to change their goals or even their view, just because it makes more sense for them.
For me, it’s magic that happens. However. Read also society is brainwashing you.
The pillars to keep strong frame is:
The more you hear something the more real it gets for you.
Same with frames.
If you suddenly start to see a new perception everywhere your frame is changing.
Also something quite important is sense.
If something doesn’t make any sense it’s really hard to confront a frame.
It has to make sense for you.
This brings us to the last and most important point, you have to believe it.
If you believe enough in your frame, the world will bend itself around it.
Let’s go back to our little example:
“I’m not one of this Girls. I’m not easy.”
In this situations, I prefer to let herself question her own frame.
If frame doesn’t make sense, we tend to change them. So I ask:
“What do you mean by <those girls>? Girls who do what they want and be brave enough to listen to themselves?”
The core of the message is, to change the picture inside her mind from slut (them) / and quality girls (her) to self-confident/uptight and externally controlled.
“One night stands are bad”
I heard this a lot… And I hope you guys never disappoint any of your one night stands.
However. Inside her mind is this picture of a crappy hook up of her or heard of.
I confront this frame by a different view.
“You are right, I heard a lot of girls complaining about bad one night stands, and it’s so hard for me to believe. It’s such an incredible thing to have an adventure like this. I love to see how fast and deep you can connect with someone. And from the moment on, you had this special connection, it’s way easier to get to know each other on a deeper and more personal level.”
This is a very short and insufficient version. But the message should be clear. To change the picture of the bad one night stand to an incredible adventure.
The whole science about framing is the core of our Inner Game Seminars and Workshops. If you are really interested in framing yourself and transferring your frame to others I can fully recommend you the 360 Inner Game Course, where we have adequate time for this big topic.
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Who is Ray The Shaman?
Ray dedicated his life to transformation and personal growth. In Man-Circles, the Pick Up Community and in his career as Project Manager he always focused on developing himself and to support the people around him to live the life the wanna have. As a Part of Badboys Team his approach to Inner Game is high performance mental training rather than therapy. Ray’s sessions are a potbury of NLP, sports psychology, specific how-to-advice, shamanism, initiation rituals and neurohacking, which leads to a strange but powerful processes. Ray attaches great importance to combine conscious and unconscious work in his coachings. His passions is to help men on their own journey and to clean up the mess psychologists and therapeuts did.